The word “serve” in leadership still means something…

It’s been personally frustrating and honestly disheartening to watch some of today’s most visible “leaders” act more like performers than servant leaders.

They seem more interested in power, posture, and platforming, than in earning the respect of those they’re supposed to serve.

That word, "serve", still means something even though it seems increasingly rare to see in high office.

When I led teams in the military and in civilian life, I always tried to model those who saw leadership as a responsibility and not a perk.

My feeling: If we can’t do right by the people we lead, then we don’t deserve to lead them.

What happens, though, when leadership gets performative? When it becomes about showing allegiance and loyalty than it is about uplifting, protecting, and enabling others?

I don’t have all the answers. But I do believe we need to recenter leadership around service, reflection, and respect.

I was reflecting on some of the organizational culture characteristics that worked well in some high-performing teams and organizations I’ve worked with…

• Normalize reflection as a leadership muscle.
  The leaders I’ve admired most often agonize over their decisions, not because they’re indecisive, but bc they care about downstream impact. They normalize things like AARs, 360 feedback, and retrospectives. They celebrate vulnerability in decision-making as a sign of maturity, not weakness.

• Re-anchor “respect” to consistency and fairness, not charisma.
  They don’t conflate popularity with credibility. They elevate steady, competent leaders who quietly make teams better. And they institutionalize metrics of leadership that reflect things like trust, retention, or development and not just stage presence.

• Reclaim the word “strength.”
  It seems one of the biggest PR wins of performative leaders is that they get to monopolize the word “strength.” Rather, in high-performing organizations they frame qualities like empathy, restraint, and listening as skills worth mastering with intention and courage. Emotional intelligence is a strategic asset, not just a “soft skill.”

• Build apprenticeship, not just succession.
  If leaders are picked based on alignment with the current power structure, then it’s hard for servant leaders to rise. Rather, high-performing cultures seem to implement mentorship systems that pass along wisdom and moral reasoning to the next generation of leaders, and not just incentivize on operational decisions.

• Change what gets rewarded and recognized.
  Ultimately, culture is influenced by incentives. If we want more servant leaders, reward service not showmanship. (“Loud” doesn't equal “effective”.) Redesign scorecards to reflect how direct reports feel about working with their leader, not just what gets delivered.